Shark Attack 3 - Megalodon
A very large shark has been terrorising the workers trying to install an underwater cable off the coast of Mexico, so resort security diver Ben Carpenter (John Barrowman) takes it upon himself to put a stop to the killing. However, a tooth he finds is identified by researcher Cat Stone (Jennifer McShane) to be not from a shark, but a prehistoric megalodon, thought to be extinct for 24 million years. With a crew of victims -- er, sailors -- they set out to hunt the beast. But little do they know, the big shark attacking their boat and eating their crew members are the babies, and their mother is really, really big -- and angry!
Directed by David Worth, the legendary talent behind Kickboxer and, err, Shark Attack 2, Shark Attack 3: Megalodon is notable for starring John Barrowman, who later found fame in popular shows such as Doctor Who and Torchwood. Barrowman has said in an interview on Friday Night With Jonathan Ross that he only did the film for the money, and was rather embarrassed when a clip from the film was shown. The film is also notorious due to certain clips becoming popular internet memes, thanks to the unbelievably bad dialogue and shark special effects that are no more than CGI-ed figures zipping into the open mouths of sharks, which are actually slowed down Shark Week footage blown up to make the shark look bigger.
Other reasons we love this movie:
- John Barrowman channelling the spirit of Tom Cruise, or the bargain-basement version thereof.
- It features a character called Chuck Rampart (!) who, perhaps unsurprisingly, has pictures of George Bush and Dick Cheney in his dining room and says things like "I know where we can get explosives; no questions asked!".
- The most in-famous chat-up line in movie history!!!* (*No, don't YouTube it!)
It's almost time to hit the beaches, so what better moment to surf on down to Crap Film Club and bite off a big chunk of fishy film failure. Never mind your Mega Sharks and Sharknados...this is the Jaws rip-off that did it first and worst, so reel in a ticket or two before they've all been snapped up and you're left feeling crabby!
"Shark Attack 3 is one of the guiltiest of guilty pleasures...essential viewing!" - DVDActive.com
"Things I learned from this movie...sharks are filled with chilli!" - BadMovies.org
"Like a donkey show. So hideous it's fascinating" - Rotten Tomatoes
"Sharks do not roar. Especially underwater" - TVTropes.com