Where is Crap Film Club held? How do I become a member?

We are based in London and screen a film every other month at The Book Club. There is no joining fee, just come along! Advance tickets are £5.00 and once they’re sold out we usually have a very limited number available on the door at a higher price, so book early!

Do I get a badge?

We had badges but they’re all gone. Let us know you want one and we may get some more made.

How about a t-shirt?

We’ve been thinking this over for…well, the last few years. Watch this space.

Tea towel? Oven glove?

Stop it.

What exactly goes on at Crap Film Club?

Apart from enjoying a carefully selected bad movie whilst munching on our delicious, homemade crap snacks, there are also terrible trailers, mirth-inducing music videos and other random visual treats provided to complete your night of cinematic shite. You can even win a shoddy prize in our competition - usually a quiz, a drawing challenge or the opportunity to make some plasticine oddity related to the film we’ve just watched. The Book Club also serves great food (we highly recommend the nachos).

Is it like Fight Club, a secret society that you shouldn’t talk about?

On the contrary, the first rule of Crap Film Club is that you should talk about Crap Film Club at every possible opportunity. Tell your friends. Tell your family. Tell your colleagues. Heck, tell your local MP if you think they might be into it. Get them to follow us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube. Spread this crap around as far as possible.

Do you have a mailing list so I absolutely don’t miss anything CFC-related?

Yes indeed, just drop us a line to be included. Everyone who buys an online ticket gets added automatically but, on the flipslide, unsubscribing is really easy if you want to hop off.

Are under-18s allowed at CFC?

Sorry, ‘fraid not. It’s held in a bar so, y’know, alcohol. Also, a lot of the films we show are 18-rated because they feature violence, boobs or, occasionally, violent boobs.

I don’t drink boobs…I mean booze. Is that a problem?

Not at all. Whilst a beer or two can help a crap film slip down more smoothly than Stephen Fry slathered in Vaseline we welcome all comers, sober or otherwise, and encourage everyone to drink responsibly.

Oh no, I’ve only just discovered Crap Film Club and you’ve already shown so many amazingly bad films. Any chance you’ll put them on again?

Yes, absolutely - some crap films demand to be shown more than once. Most likely we’ll let the audience decide through some kind of definitely not rigged voting system.

What makes a film “so bad it’s good”? How do you decide what’s worth sharing with the public?

At CFC we have fairly rigid criteria, meaning the following are immediately excluded: 

  1. High-budget Hollywood follies (they’re still made with way too much skill).
  2. Conversely, anything made under the banner of “trash” or to look purposefully inept.
  3. Anything that bores more than it entertains.
  4. Anything that has extended scenes of sexual violence or just isn’t fun.

Don’t worry, that still leaves plenty to choose from…movies that are directed/written/produced/scored/catered by someone with delusions of grandeur but very little filmmaking experience or knowledge of cinematic clichés are a particular favourite. We then subject each film to a rigorous viewing session, after which the Elders of Crap give it the thumbs up or down. If it has that “X factor” then we’re good to go.

Ah, so that’s why you don’t show stuff like Transformers, The Wicker Man remake, Superman IV, Jaws: The Revenge, Showgirls, Mac & Me, The Garbage Pail Kids Movie, Anaconda, Manos: The Hands of Fate, Batman & Robin, Gigli, Battlefield Earth, Roadhouse, Adam Sandler movies, anything made by Troma, or those CGI shark films they have now?

That’s right.

Hang on! You’ve screened Sharknado, Frankenhooker and Teen Witch…

Um…err…oh, look over there! It’s Tommy Wiseau!

Oh yes, what about The Room? When are you going to show The Room???

Unless CFC moves outside of the M25, probably never. The Prince Charles Cinema has exclusive screening rights in London and they’re not letting anyone else play with their football. Hey, there’s plenty of other crap out there so it’s fine. Also, we don’t really want to spend all evening telling people not to throw spoons around but do check out a PCC event if you haven’t already – they’re good fun!

Can I suggest a film for Crap Film Club?

Of course, we’re always happy to receive suggestions and we do check out every one, as long as it doesn’t fall into any of the no-show categories outlined above and isn’t The Room. Just drop us a line here or via social media. Alternatively, fill out one of our feedback forms or come and talk to us at a screening – we’re friendly!

Would you ever consider hosting CFC at another events space, a festival, a birthday, a wedding, or a bar mitzvah?

If we can fit it in between our day jobs and regular slot at The Book Club then why not? In particular, we’d quite like to match the theme of the film to the venue: just imagine Shark Attack 3: Megalodon at London Aquarium or Starcrash at The Royal Observatory…now that would be craptacular! Interested parties should contact us forthwith to discuss their requirements.

I have a question that isn’t answered here…

What? Impossible! We’ll start indiscriminately firing people right away. In the meantime, please get in touch and we’ll do our best worst to sate your thirst for knowledge.